fun prank: wake up during open heart surgery and sing don’t go breakin’ my heart to the surgeon
i couldn’t if i tried.
i wanna take a hot selfie but i look ugly
what if websites had closing hours
angry and quite offended that you don’t have a crush on me
what if garbage was spelled like garbij
my worst fear is laughing at a joke I don’t understand and having someone ask me to explain it
the nurse gave me some valium before my surgery so i wouldn’t have a panic attack when they tried to put me under and just when it was starting to kick in i met my anesthesiologist, who told me I have the same name as his kid and I just nodded thoughtfully and said ‘we must battle so i can become the alpha’ and my dad nearly fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard